I’m biking along the sea into town and realize I’m on alert.
My eyes locked with a woman about 200-300 ft ahead of me.
In the split second it takes me to glance up and look at her, I see she’s clutching the railing while briskly walking forward on the side of the path I’m biking, a small dog at her feet sniffing around.
The town we live in has a bustling paseo (a beach walk) that runs all through town along the coast and it more or less connects to other nearby towns North & South of us.
I say more or less connects because we live maybe 9-10 km (5-6 miles) South of the town center and out near us there is a still path, but it’s not as maintained or planned out the same way it is in town.
The part of the path on our side of town zigs when you think it should zag. There are parts that are threatening to fall into the sea.
There are rocky outcroppings with packed gravel paths that are cobbled together following the exact lay out of the rocks instead of going straight or around them.
Some parts are very sandy, good luck having the wheels get traction. It narrows so much in places, it’s better to just get off the bike.
It’s great for walking and tricky for about 2-3 km on a bike. I think of it a bit like an obstacle course and plan to have any of my bikes through this section take an extra 10 minutes.
Tons of people use this path, those going to work, exercising, vacationing & strolling and people, like me, biking.
A paved, straighter part of the path
The interesting thing about living in a city that’s so international is there are literally people from all over the world.
My kids attend a public school in the town we live in and in this school alone while the locals make up the majority there are nationalities of all types - Americans (us!), Swedish, Hungarian, Moroccan, Polish, Ukrainian, Chinese, French, Dutch, English and I’m sure I’m missing a few.
The other interesting thing about living in a city that’s so international is people are from all over the world 😆. And people in different countries just do things differently.
Some of the biggest adjustments for us as Americans living here in Southern Spain have been:
the times you eat meals (9p is the start of Spanish dinner time, 11p is the “rush”)
midday siestas (naps) when everything closes
extended & slow breaks
grocery stores being closed on Sunday
not rushing for anything
dressing up (“athleisure” is not a clothing category - if you’re wearing gym clothes, you’re going to the gym)
you have to request the bill after eating at a restaurant or they let you just enjoy your time (the horror 😏)
And other small & big things that can take some getting used to and many that are quite simply wonderful once you do.
A slow paced, amazing recent meal at a local “sea-to-table” restaurant
The paseo I ride on is created for pedestrians.
Yes, bikes are allowed to use it and closer into the center of the town the path is paved, straightens out, and splits into a designated bike lane. I do however think the pedestrians have the right of way.
So let’s just say for much of the stretch on my side of town I am constantly on alert.
Biking on this paseo is prime people watching.
there are people who walk and wander, lost in conversation and drifting in and out of their side of the path. I do my best to give them a friendly bell ding, with enough space to not scare them but also a small warning like hey I’m about to pass you and would love not to hit you and also hi, yes the path has other people on it.
there are people who just don’t seem to care where they are, who else is around, if they should look before they cross another busy path, or simply don’t want to.
there are elderly couples walking hand-in-hand for their morning stroll
moms and babies in strollers
runners getting their miles in
dogs out for their morning walks with their humans
people crossing the path to access the beach
One thing that’s randomly stuck out to me is the UK is one of the very few counties on this side of the Atlantic that drive on the left side of the road.
A quick online search tells me there are only 4 - UK, Ireland, Cyprus & Malta.
And there are many English visitors & residents, it’s a quick hop, skip & a jump by plane. I found it’s easy to spot the visitors who are newly arrived because often they are also walking on the left side of the paseo.
Sometimes they realize it and shuffle around or move to the other side. A few times it has even turned into a bit of a stand off where people gesture at to me to move off course to my left, just as a another bike is coming at me head on.
As with the rules of the road while driving, the rules of the paseo can be difficult to navigate on a bike.
That morning, something made me take notice of this woman clutching the railing and walking straight on, clearly holding her space on the right side.
I felt the energy before my brain realized it and put the pieces together.
I was far enough away to not even come close to hitting her, though I did have to navigate some other pedestrians walking around in both directions her while keeping an eye on her dog, who seemed to have a long lead, from possibly jumping in from of me.
She stared at me the entire time I cycled past, staking her claim, grabbing the railing, making her position known. Unmoving, she was telling me with her body language & movement she wasn’t budging.
There are so many reasons we hug the “right” and clutch the railing.
I think it comes down to one thing.
Fear.
Fear of not getting what we want. Fear of getting what we DO want.
Fear to be wrong. Fear of being too exposed. Fear of being misunderstood.
Fear of being hit (note: I’ve transitioned here from a physical hit, like one from a bike, to a metaphorical 😉). Fear of being left alone or not part of our tribe.
Fears, rational and irrational, of all kinds that consciously and unconsciously run through our heads & actions all the time.
I’ve written before about often feeling like the black sheep here. I know you can relate. Sometimes you just want to do what you want when you want to do it, no matter what the hell is going on around you, even if it’s not what everyone else is doing.
In this quick split-second moment on a beach walkway, I energetically felt exactly what’s happening in the world and in my home country right playing out in front of me.
When we cling to the “right” side, do we lose the chance to experience a new path and a different way forward than what we had planned?
If we aren’t willing to move and be fluid, do we crash just for the sake of being right? Just for the sake of crashing?
Can we make more space for the people who might need or want the space? Even if it’s slightly inconvenient for us?
Can we allow them to stay on their side of the path if that’s what they need?
Can we stop assuming people are on our side of the path to make it harder for us? Or there to purposely ruin our day?
Maybe her dog loves that specific railing. Maybe she needed a minute to look at the sea and this was the moment she chose. Maybe this exact moment was unfolding exactly how it was for a specific reason that I couldn’t see.
Maybe I was meant to have the “lane” I was in and meant to veer a little left and a little right.
And just maybe what is being planned for us by God is even better than what we could ever plan for or imagine.
Can we take the time to really see & understand people, to hear their stories and their preferences or do we need to barrel straight on through?
Maybe we can simply allow them to walk to the other side of the path or even wander back and forth if that’s what they need, without making it mean anything about the type of person they are or aren’t.
What if she’s actually on the “right” side for her and she wants to stay there? Could we just let her? Could we try to understand instead of berating her for standing there and being on the “wrong” side of the road?
Why do we feel the need to yell and scream and honk the horn or ding the bike bell at everyone who we think is on the “wrong” side of the road or in the “wrong” lane?
Is there even a “right” side?
The more I live abroad the more I think we all just out here, living our freakin’ life. Walking and riding our bikes, enjoying the beautiful morning this world has to offer and wanting to have the peace to do so.
The lovely Brits I’ve made friends with here often use the expression “to be fair” (and they use the word lovely quite often).
So, “to be fair” I have no idea if she was from the UK or simply using that side of the beach path to be there or to let her dog enjoy a few extra moments of sniffing or whatever.
It doesn’t matter, she was there. Standing her ground. Doing what she wanted to do.
I had a choice.
You always have a choice.
I let her be and went around.
The “lane” I thought I was traveling in wasn’t a straight one and, who cares, it didn’t affect my day or my life what so ever.
I went a bit left, then down the center, then a bit left again to go around another person and then back to the right.
This one seemingly unimportant encounter got me thinking and expanding.
I could have been indignant and annoyed that I had to move and go around.
I could have rolled my eyes or shouted something about getting out of my way.
I just smiled back at her. I continued on my way.
All the while peddling forward & staying in my own lane.
Grateful for the sunrise and the sea air.
